Why Do We Scream At Each Other?
by Memory in Crimson
Summary: Journal from the the perspective of Vathek, a loyal soldier in Prince Phobos's army. He joined because he believed doing so would help to make Meridian a better place. However, a visitor from Cedric's homeland challenges how he came to make his decision and if that decision was a wise one at all.
1. Never Satisfied

"Why Do We Scream At Each Other?"

by Memory in Crimson

* * *

 **The Assembler's Note:**

Completed _23 September -_.

Your Highness: Only _the most relevant_ entries have been compiled. I have omitted frivolities for Your convenience and also to better understand the traitor's reason for abandoning His Most Revered Highness, Phobos, the Rightful Heir to the House of Escanor.

* * *

 _7 Escanorum._ \- His Highness received a long-awaited visitor from Lord Cedric's homeland today; for it is my understanding that His Lordship's people refused to be involved in the war between Prince Phobos and the Queen. The Serpentine Shape-shifters had not stood against our Prince, but how one could not take this side or the Traditionalists' side is a mystery to me.

But this messenger did come - a 'Midnight Child,' I think, at least as they are called by Galhot and Escanor - a descendant of children long-ago kidnapped by the Serpentine Shape-shifters. Their skin had scales and was midnight blue, and their garbs shimmered like twilight in winter. The messenger spoke:

'Her Esteemed Lady, Cecelia, daughter of Lady Mulga, would enjoy the permission of Prince Phobos to tour Meridian now that he has secured his throne.'

This request barely impressed His Highness, and Lord Cedric thought it curious: 'Why does _my sister_ want to come here, when no one else would stand beside our Prince?'

To which the messenger replied: 'She gave me no reason, and I dared not ask for one.'

Prince Phobos gazed at the messenger with no interest, and Lord Cedric hissed closed to his ear, certainly advising him against it. I am sorry to say that events leading up to the war pitted many a brother against his sister and a man against his wife. Half my family would not speak to the other, and those of us who are loyal to Prince Phobos certainly do not make any effort to contact those loathsome rabble-rousers.

However, His Highness agreed to her visitation, 'so that she may see what we have done and take news of this great new land back to her people,' though Cedric demonstrated no enthusiasm and to this hour, he stews in his frustration. But I agree with His Highness: our victory should be a positive example to those whom have for too long been disenfranchised by the Traditionalists. For were the Serpentine Shape-shifters not also shut out of the capital by the Traditionalists whom called them 'tricksters' and 'sinful' and 'deplorable'? I am puzzled that only Cedric among them all would swear fealty to Prince Phobos. I pray that Her Ladyship, when she arrives, shines a light upon the mystery.

* * *

 _16 Escanorum._ \- I am glad to have gained Lord Cedric's favour over many, many years of service, for he has roared and bellowed at the soldiers for days now, distressed by the imminent arrival of Lady Cecelia. I have had to calm the men often, for they fear that he shall crush them beneath his coils or bifurcate them with his claws; however, I have felt his fury, too, and though he waited many hours to approach me, he felt comfortable enough around me to apologise for his abuse.

I told him: 'You wish to make a good impression upon someone with high standards. This isn't a flaw. No one else can do what you do and as well as you do. And you tend to cope well.'

To which he scoffed and said: 'I don't cope. I simply manage to not rend one in two.'

And I said: 'If your sister isn't utterly disgusted by Galhots, perhaps I can stay by your side as I always do.' For Serpentine Shape-shifters have an infamous disdain for Galhots; why has never been quite clear aside from the fact that we often celebrate the arrival of Escanor and his people year after year.

Then Cedric's eyes lit and he said: 'Or _you_ can handle her entirely.'

Well! I was certainly stunned. I'm still quite stunned. Me? I know nothing of her. Ah! but that's what makes me perfect, he said.

'She'll have memories of me and certain expectations of me that I fear I won't be able to live up to' - and I would have interjected, but he continued - 'but _you_? You have a blank slate with her. You could never disappoint her!'

Disappoint? I gasped, and then I wondered whatever could he have done, aside from assume the title of the Prince's General, to have disappointed her? But that is politics, I suppose. Even in peacetime a senate can become a more bloodied setting than a wrestler's ring, or a group of conflicted counsellors drowning out each other's voices, like Lerigian were-bears roaring and bashing one another for mates. I know that I stand for my Prince and his causes, but I am otherwise not a political man. We are all better off each minding our own businesses so long as one of us doesn't infringe on the other farmer's field, so to speak.

So, I've agreed to accompany Her Ladyship during her visit.

By the wisdom of the Kasperian Seer, I haven't the slightest clue of what I've got myself into!

* * *

 _19 Escanorum._ \- What a dreadful morning! Her Ladyship has to arrive in _this_ downpour? By the hirsute hindquarters of the Mad Hermit! She'll assume that arriving in Meridian in this rain is a sign from her Gods that she's unwelcome here. Gods be merciful! I'll pen what I can when I can this evening.

 _Midnight._ \- Serpentine Shape-shifters are nearly impossible to read when they wear the body of a Galhot or an Escanor or a Galtroh or a Passling or who-have-you. Their expression is even colder in a body that is not theirs rather than as serpents, for as the latter, they are fiery of temperament and terrible to be crossed.

Her Ladyship resembles Cedric to an uncanny degree (even her robes were indistinguishable!). The stoniness of her face and the sluggish, serpentine manner of turning her head mimicked his. The distinguishing characteristics are slight, for she is a head taller than he (apparently, their ladies are larger both as Escanors and in their true forms), and she has bound her hair into a ball behind her head with a long strand on either side to frame her face. Her voice, also, has femininity, and there, the differences are so slight as to be microscopic.

She and her entourage of seven Midnight Children bowed deeply before His Highness so that their foreheads touched the floor. Satisfied with their humble greeting, Prince Phobos bade them welcome and promised them a most enlightening experience. It was then that he introduced me as the Lady's guide and leader of the men to keep her company secure. She regarded me with the tiniest bow of her head - not at all impressed, I can tell, although, for one who requested the right to visit, she seems dispassionate all-around. Perhaps she has come only because she obeys another, for I understand that she and Cedric are of noble breeding but are not the highest ranking members of their race.

Supper was quiet, for surely Lady Cecelia and her entourage looked baggy-eyed and ready to sleep face-first upon their plates. She asked her brother how he fared nowadays and if he would consider visiting home. Her eyes met only his and never the Prince's (strange!). His Highness cleared his throat a few times too many, and quietly, she asked for her bedchamber.

His Highness demands that, as soon as the morning comes, we figure out why Lady Cecelia has come, for though she seems weary (possibly due to the long journey), he is suspicious of her motive. He says that 'She's come for more than reconciling with me on behalf of her race. Find her out!'

* * *

 _20 Escanorum._ \- Her Ladyship started the day in better spirits, and Lord Cedric ensured that she broke-fast with a sumptuous meal. Pig and chicken and eggs had been prepared, very little fruit (Shifters are notorious carnivores), and something I didn't recognise:

'Dodidrian deer?' she hissed.

'A few herds were released into a preserve near the castle,' said Cedric. 'To make it feel more like home.'

The lady's chest swelled, and her face brightened red. She changed into that most terrifying form - and would you believe, much larger than Cedric! Surely they were indistinguishable in detail, for they are both yellow and green and red. But her coils contained more power in them, and her length was greater. If only the Shifters had joined the Prince's army - they would have crushed and devoured the Queen's forces, and the Prince rightfully assume the throne sooner! What a frightening sight!

I know that my fellow guards stationed in the hall were utterly frozen with terror as the siblings broke-fast, not at all eating with the daintiness of nobles but the ferocity of dragons. Yet Lady Cecelia's entourage gobbled their dishes as though nothing fear-inducing transpired. They spoke in their foreign tongue and laughed throughout, even eliciting a growl of a chuckle from Her Ladyship.

Then His Highness appeared, and all stood at attention. The siblings bowed as deeply as their great forms would allow them, and the Prince took his seat beside the roaring fire.

He asked, 'Did you sleep well, Lady Cecelia?'

'Yes,' she hissed. 'Thank you, Prince Phobos. And, at your leave, may I apologise for my behaviour at supper.'

'You are forgiven,' he said, 'although I _am_ curious as to what ails you.'

'A terrible problem with my sinuses, Your Highness.'

'Is that so? What a pity!'

'Indeed. I could barely eat or sleep, and the pressure of leaving a good impression on you? I'm afraid it spread to the rest of my body. But my hand-servant Corvus gave me something to help me sleep off the last of it. I've a much better head on my shoulders, Your Highness.'

Then I looked at the Midnight Child with the silver eyebrows and silver row of hair standing tall in the middle of his head and nowhere else upon his skull. He grinned and tipped his head toward the Prince.

Then His Highness said, 'Then perhaps you are well enough to take a tour of the castle. Your brother and his assistant, Vathek, would fain show you about today.'

'That would lighten my heart even more, Your Highness,' she said.

Soon the last tidbit of breakfast was devoured, and the siblings changed into their Escanor bodies. His Lordship escorted Her Ladyship first to the magnificent place of arms, just outside the throne room. Some of the soldiers had assembled to drill before her, not one step or salute out of place.

'I see your men are ever-ready for combat,' she said.

'As every soldier should be,' said Cedric.

Then he led her to one of the many guardrooms, peppered with soldiers enjoying activities such as cards and drinking between their shifts. From there, we visited the kitchen and sampled foods for lunch. Then to the library briefly (it is a _vast_ place, utterly labyrinthine, and so, we spared just a few minutes passing through); then to the Prince's gallery where he has begun to collect works for his private enjoyment and the enjoyment of his refined guests.

'I assume the places you're taking me,' said Lady Cecelia, 'are places that I'm permitted to enter?'

'Of course,' said Cedric. 'I don't fear for your safety, though. Everyone who sees you shall know that you are my sister. I merely want to show you those places you and your guests find more pleasurable.'

'Of course.'

Cedric's brows furrowed and his face darkened. With a snarl, he said, 'Perhaps we should head to the _gardens_ now.'

To which I replied, 'An excellent idea, sir! Oh, Your Ladyship! The gardens are _most_ delightful. Even an uncouth fellow like me has enough appreciation for them.'

Her Ladyship tipped her head, eyes wide with curiosity for my sudden energy; but I had no desire for the siblings to duel, and by the smoothness of Cedric's demeanor, I had somehow helped to defuse the situation.

His Lordship led the way: down winding stairs; passed purple, stained glass windows; passed doors sealed for confidentiality's sake (we can't be too careful, even around Cedric's people) and halls lurked in by Lurdens; through doors and through a long pergola, heavy with vines, into the royal gardens.

They are not the same as when the Queen and her consort reigned, and that is for the better. No reminder of the old and outdated need remain. Instead, the garden is filled to the walls with roses and Whisperers, squat trees that weep like willows, Axeman's bushes abounding, the thorny Mordred lilies with their poisonous blue flowers already in bloom; an assortment of trees and bushes and flowers that I haven't enough pages to name.

'This is Prince Phobos's sanctuary,' said Cedric. 'When he is here, he feels most at peace.'

Cecelia smiled and turned toward us. She said, 'Even his sanctuary is as fierce as the castle. It is refreshing to see less of that sugar-coated idealism and a more _genuine_ face to the House of Escanor. His Highness certainly conceals less of his ferocity than the rest of his two-faced people.'

Then a pack of the Prince's brindled gorgonosbids trotted before our group and snarled. The Lady snorted back at them, and they perked up their heads.

I warned, 'Be careful, my Lady. These are part of the security His Highness has set up here.'

She laughed gaily, her sharp teeth gleaming - my! I was certain she had gone a bit mad and so quickly, too! Then she said, 'I do not fear these handsome beasts.' Then she snorted again and barked a deep bark like an alpha gorgonosbid, and the troop bustled toward us like hunting hounds.

'Such handsome, handsome creatures!' she exclaimed as they jumped and panted, vying for her tender caresses. 'Is His Highness fond of animals?'

'Many kinds that are often attacked and slaughtered for no reason,' said Cedric, 'other than that they are trying to survive.'

Then Cecelia clicked several times, and the beasts stood at attention before following her and Cedric as though they were their leaders.

I should not have been so surprised. Serpentine Shape-shifters seem to be masters of every beast that roams in Metamoor, save those upon which they prey. From the tiny but feared Taranturanga spider to mudslugs and even dragons - it appears as though fellow carnivores, no matter their size, show deference to the snake people. No wonder His Highness enjoys the Lord's company; for they enjoy the company of the same beasts, more than people.

The gardens were our last stop before we returned to a late lunch. Cecelia and her entourage retired to slumber before supping with His Highness and after that, savouring wine while the musicians played.

* * *

 _22 Escanorum. Evening._ \- I'm terribly afraid that I might have transgressed today. Her Ladyship was most excited to venture further afield, for she and her entourage passed quickly through the countryside to arrive at the castle. She desired to see more of the countryside and the preserve of which Cedric spoke.

Well! His Highness is not at all pleased right now! I understand that for security's sake, she is to stay as close to the castle as possible. Even with the castle, the city, the farms, and the nearby forests bristling with the Prince's soldiers and loyal subjects, there are defiant folk creeping and lurking, biding their time for some opportunity to kidnap or murder anyone professing loyalty to His Great Highness - or simply visiting him for curiosity's sake!

But my! He was furious after she retired to her chamber after today - and it had been such a lovely day, too! I had ordered the finer steeds saddled - the black stallions of Frodesia, fine horses for combat or leisure, sturdy of back, swift, and able of foot. I figured that four thunder-wolves would be plenty in case of an attack. And so, with my men in tow, I led Her Ladyship to the preserve. Such a grand and wild place! Plenty of game for the Prince and the Lord and their favourite beasts to hunt! Lady Cecelia had such a gay demeanour - certainly she had the cool deportment of a noble, but her spirit seemed free of any weights since her introduction.

And as we rode and I labelled this thing and that thing and told the stories I had been told, she asked if she could see more of Meridian.

'Only if His Highness deems that it's safe enough,' I said. 'We must be watchful. Quite a few backwards folk would want to unravel all this.'

'Backwards?' she asked.

'Establish the old ways,' I said. 'Having Queens and old, pompous advisors - all these folk who inherited their power but didn't really _earn_ it. Not like the Prince. He sits on the throne because he _thought_ and _acted_ on his thoughts. He says the Queen only thought about changing the laws on how the ruler is chosen, but she never followed through on her promises. None of these Traditionalists do. They're all alike - saying one thing, telling us to do one thing, but as for themselves? Well! They do the opposite! But the Prince - he follows through. He's indeed fierce, just like you said, but he doesn't sugar-coat - not a tidbit! He says what a lot of us have been thinking but just couldn't say because we'd be called outrageous, crazy, traitorous even. But not now - that's why I joined his forces - to make Meridian a better place.'

Cecelia hummed and fell silent for a moment. Then she asked, 'Is it fair?'

'Fair? I should think so!'

'I should explain. For I agree: the House of Escanor has not always acted in the best interest of Meridian, let alone Metamoor as a whole. I can't even count the offences that Escanors have committed against my people. Our numbers are still not what they were before the invasion.'

'Don't take me in offence, my Lady, but I still appreciate what Escanor and his knights did for Metamoor - liberating the Galhots and other Free Peoples from the Kahedrin scourge.'

'That history is not lost to me, either.'

'I just don't appreciate how sometimes we've been talked down to - not only by Escanors but _other_ Galhots. The matriarchy, for example - it's been the _status quo_ forever. Even Escanor could not avoid it, and on the condition of being King, Leryn was to be crowned Queen _Regnant_. After all he did - conditions!'

Cecelia sighed. 'I'm afraid we've gotten off-topic.'

I bowed my head and said, 'My apologies.'

'I just want to make sure... The Great Majestic Lady Olindoyo has sent me to ensure that in place of the Queen and her _extremely_ morally questionable consort, the throne has not been assumed by a different but nevertheless... less-than-ideal ruler.'

'I assure you, my Lady,' I said, feeling a bit flush in the face, 'Prince Phobos is _not_ a tyrant. And if you have heard _rumours_ of harsh behaviour on his part, it's only because he needs to keep the peace by any means necessary. Surely coming from your hierarchal background, you understand the necessity to maintain law and order, even if by harsh means? And I assure you that Prince Phobos _never_ wants to go _that_ route so quickly - not a tidbit.'

Her rosy lips seemed to fade as she mustered a rather sad smile. I didn't want to be harsh with her, but I promised to defend Prince Prince by the sword and the tongue or quill.

'I trust that is what you feel in your heart, dear friend,' she sighed. 'I would like to see for myself on the ground what life is like for the baker and blacksmith and merchant and mother. I'd like to see how well Meridianites are getting along, rebuilding after such a long conflict. Not for me but the Most Esteemed Olindoyo.'

I hesitated but eventually said I would ask the Prince to organize a tour. We'd need to be careful, no matter how safe a section of the city was reported to be.

Well! His Highness was quite furious after supper! He called Cedric and me and several captains, and he would have no more of the Lady wandering about without close monitoring.

'What shall we do, Your Highness?' I asked.

'Indeed,' began Cedric. 'We cannot simply forbid her from journeying to the city.'

'And why not?' demanded the Prince.

'Cecelia answers to _Olindoyo_. I know that you know what that means.'

The fire in the Prince's eyes simmered down, and his face cooled slightly. Then the Lord continued: 'Allow Cecelia to see a part of Meridian that _you_ want her to see. Somewhere secure and free from certain... _biases_. My men shall ensure her safe entrance and departure. We'll perform a reconnaissance immediately, plan the route, and keep it _short_.'

'So be it. But I warn you, Cedric: No. Foul-ups.' And he cast a frightening gaze upon me, as though I had been he that stirred Cecelia's curiosity.

Honestly, it was hard to digest my rations for the day. I've never felt so terrified after a non-verbal, non-physical beating. I thought I had defended my Prince and maintained an amicable relationship with the Lady. Sadly, not at all the case... I'm just not cut from the cloth of savvy and careful speakers. I'm an honest man who speaks honestly, and if that offended the Lady, then I can't help that! It is on her, not me!

To the Gods: Give me good luck tomorrow.


	2. Alone In A World So Cold

_23 Escanorum. 1001 hours._ \- Tour cancelled. Cedric's recon men were alerted to a possible ambush. I'm amazed any brigands could put together something so quickly and without the route fully planned! But apparently it was something planned close to the castle - bold, almost something we would never suspect given the level of security. Lady Cecelia was understandably disappointed, but we're spending time in the royal gardens. I'm not quite accustomed to leisure, but it is pleasant. Something about Her Ladyship is otherworldly, similar to her brother, but it's a different aura. Can't quite describe it. Perhaps I've taken a bit of a liking to her - _haha_! But she wouldn't care for a lumbering creature such as me!

 _1240 hours. -_ Somehow two members of her entourage found a few Lerynian figs to add to our lunch. Must have picked them up from the kitchen (but they weren't coming from any path leading to the kitchen; odd. His Highness doesn't keep many fruit trees I know of; must be a private section).

 _1506 hours. -_ I had to excuse myself - I couldn't take that Corvus any more! How dare he make insinuations that I fancy Her Ladyship! _Fancy_ Her Ladyship? Outrageous! This is _strictly_ business and politics. I have an assignment, and while I'm a man of action and not leisure, I do what I am told, and if I am told to indulge a head of state in leisure, then that is what I do because _I follow orders_! Honestly, does he think that fairy tales of love at first sight are true? Outrageous! And certainly she wouldn't requite if I were so bold - why, she is not repulsed because I am a Galhot, but what of my class? Oh! Certainly she shows me respect because I am her brother's assistant, advisor to the Prince's advisor, but she outclasses me, and to select a man of _my_ station?

How dare he? How utterly dare he? That honourable woman would recommend that I become the Prince's jester if ever I removed my hat and bowed like a would-be suitor, charming her - or at least, failing to, so badly that she might laugh until she died.

I knew _from the start_ there was something odd about Her Ladyship, and Corvus is that thing. If he isn't gazing at you as though you were the filthiest, vilest thing he's laid eyes on, then he smiles in the snarkiest, most predatory of ways - I wouldn't trust ten adult men alone with him! Such a vile creature himself! He says vulgar things in the regal ways, but ah! That doesn't make him less vulgar. He needn't shout obscenities like some of the soldiers do in order to be repugnant, and oh! Suggesting that I visit her while the servants made gay in the library tonight - her... _alone_... By the moons of Gaahn! He can't leave soon enough for me!

* * *

 _24 Escanorum._ \- I'm worried, _utterly, utterly_ worried after today. What should have been a smooth journey to the borough of Enfield turned into a disaster with the siblings fighting; and I certainly couldn't understand one word as they shouted, but does one need to? When anger boils over like that?

Many of the Prince's loyal followers reside in the borough of Enfield. From the castle, one must cross through neighbourhoods of mixed politics and those who 'sit on the fence,' so to speak. (I still don't understand why there are those who do not take sides, especially when it should be clear with whom to stand; but as long as they do not stand against His Highness, I assume I should not complain.) In order to ensure that the trip was as brief as the Prince desired, the Lady and Lord rode within the clarence she had ridden to arrive here, drawn by her fearsome steeds. Their faces are like skeletal hunting hounds, with ears erect like bats' and canines jutting from their mouths. Their coats are white (an easy color to spot by enemies), but it is a phantasmagorical white with blood red stockings and and blood red muzzles. Surely they look like the Demon Steeds of the Infernal Lord! so that anyone who gazes upon them would stay their ambush for fear of invoking His wrath.

My men and I rode atop Ferdermer's rhinoceroses, which are lighter in weight than their spotted cousins and can make hastier retreats. We entered without a hiccough in Enfield and during the morning market hours, too. I introduced Her Ladyship to the citizens, and they were delighted to make acquaintance with her. She inspected the different wears they peddled and made light conversation with older gentlemen on Meridian politics. I thought they were honest but not in a way that would trigger alarm - the war had been hard, but that is war, and people were happy to get back to a mostly normal routine.

'Would you say life is better now than it was under the Queen?' she asked a half-Galhot woman.

The woman laughed and said, 'Who am I to say? I tailor for a living. If this one's politics or that one's politics are different from mine, as long as I keep my job, I keep my nose out of all that.'

While I watched for trouble, I also glanced at Cedric, watching for his subtle disapproval any time anyone talked. To dissent is one thing as long as one is civil, but it is wise to keep an eye on anyone with suspicious thoughts. I watched the muscles on his face, ready to record the names and addresses of anyone who might need watching, but at the time, Cedric seemed content.

We engaged in a late lunch with Brwyn, one of the Prince's viscounts. He served us in his belvedere, with a perfect view of the castle, a meal highlighted by roasted Hoogong, jellied Tempeter liver (always a bit musky for my taste, but Cedric seems to enjoy it), and the finest red wine awarded to him for his service to the Prince. The meal seemed to be going alright until I heard Corvus snarling at his Lady, having pulled her aside.

'Is everything alright?' asked Brwyn.

Cecelia snarled at Corvus in their foreign tongue, and he returned to his seat. Then she turned to the viscount and said, 'No, but don't let the foul spirits of a few ruin this meal.'

It was then that I looked at all her servants, and they _all_ had the audacity to _scowl_ at her! Then she hissed at them in their foreign tongue, and for the first time ever in all my years, I saw Cedric shudder and cringe - it was ever so slight, but I swear to the Godsly Saint Madru'uga! There was fear in his eyes! What was happening?

'Cecelia! A moment?' he said, and he laid a hand upon her shoulder, leading her from the table, back through the viscount's home, and into the courtyard below.

I asked Brigodek to entertain the viscount and the Midnight Children while I watched from the belvedere the siblings' conversation. It was sprinkled with Escanor but mostly their sibilant mother tongue. I could only catch smatterings of their argument - 'and do you not feel it? (And here began their mother tongue before she said)... Will they stop here in the city? Will they overtake _our_ land? Do you really think (And here again she transitioned to their mother tongue)?'

Then Cedric growled, 'You have no idea what it was like (And here again was their mother tongue). But he stood by me! He didn't need to, but he did! And the vines out there? They are _necessary_. (And here again was their mother tongue, and after this, if there were Escanor words interspersed, I could not understand them, for the siblings had transformed and began to roar at each other.)

Now everyone had risen, and the viscount's face was ghastly pale. His bony hand seized my arm, vise-like and painful, and he begged, 'Do something! My Gods! Is His Lordship going to destroy my home? Do something!'

Who was I to yell at my superior? But even the Midnight Children, even the arrogant Corvus - they had all turned ashen grey as though realising that yes, they bore some responsibility for this duel, and the thought set in that they might lead to the destruction of a stranger's property.

So I, bulky I, roared long to them: _'STOP THIS NOW!'_

Cedric and Cecelia gazed hatefully at me first, but their hatred vanished when they began to see all the eyes locked upon them. Cecelia looked at her brother and wondered, 'What have I done?' Then the green light that accompanies all their transformations engulfed her great body. She turned into an Escanor and immediately collapsed in the courtyard.

Needless to say, Prince Phobos is not at all happy about what transpired. All three of us met in private, and Cedric insisted that she was making 'wild accusations about you and me and whatever happened... _before._ ' He began to ramble for half a minute and then fell silent. His Highness dismissed me.

I can only dread what type of punishment awaits Cedric and me and everyone else. I do so hope that Lady Cecelia has recovered from whatever ails her.

By the Gods, what happened? Why the yelling? Why the fighting?

And I think again just now: Cedric had warned me that something terrible might happen when he and she were together. My Gods, I didn't do enough to keep them apart. I feel terrible! Miserable! This shouldn't have happened. I've failed. Failed harder than I could have imagined. My Gods, may I see mercy!

* * *

 _25 Escanorum. 730 hours._ \- Got up as early as I could. Early before the Prince and Lord Cedric summon me. I called the Lady's chamber. Corvus answered. I asked if she were alright; Corvus says she has stomach pains, head pains too. Too faint to walk. Shouldn't see the Prince and 'is definitely _not_ interested in seeing her brother, if you're so curious,' he hissed.

I asked if I may bring a doctor, but he said, No, it was something that needed to pass on its own.

What a miserable thing that Corvus is! I don't know if I hammered home the point enough last night to His Highness, but if not, well! I'll make sure he knows that that blackguard is probably the cause of all this! I swear, if that fool leads Lady Cecelia to think poorly of the Prince, and she reports back to this feared Olindoyo, and Olindoyo declares war or even some sanction against us, I'll make it my duty to hunt that creature down. How dare he upset the Lady! And lead his cohorts to do the same! Have they no shame? I pray to the Gods that she recover, and I pray They give her the strength to get rid of that horrid beast!

* * *

 _1 Lerynium. 330 hours._ \- I don't know what to think of her. I simply don't know what to think! My Gods! it's early in the morning. I should be asleep, not tossing and turning in my head like this!

I went back to my Lady's chamber in the afternoon, just like I had planned, but the lady was fast asleep, I was told. Come back in the morning.

'I'll need to anyway,' I said, 'she needs to meet with the Prince.'

And I finally began to wonder: What _really is_ the purpose of her visit? I began to suspect any number of things - maybe she really was a spy or on some assignment to harm our Prince!

But no! she was merely ill, I told myself. She needs calm and quiet and no visitors. Those in themselves can be good medicine, along with actual herbs and tinctures and what-nots.

But she had not been sick in the stomach - no, not like that. I come to find that she was sick in the heart and worried about her brother and the kingdom.

Since it seemed she was not coming out for the day, I was assigned to patrol the royal gardens tonight. I found her coiled beneath one of the weeping Guinevere oaks and, at first, mistook her for her brother, sulking at what a dreadful visitation this had been.

She whispered softly for me to join her privately, and I dismissed my two crew-mates - 'Have a pint, each of you, for me,' and they fain hurried to obey. Then I stood before her, her gold eyes glimmering in the dark like some predatory beast, and she asked me if I were happy here.

Am I happy here? Yes, of course.

Truly happy? she asked. (What is 'truly happy,' I wonder) But I said, 'Yes, I am.'

'And you don't see anything wrong here?'

I raised my stony brows and asked, 'What do you mean?'

She slithered closer - quite a frightful sight, even as sad as she was - and she said, 'Don't assume that my critique means I liked the old way things were run. It was imperfect. _Far_ from perfect. And terrible things happened - terrible, _terrible_ things to my brothers when they served the Queen and then Cedric, when he chose to come back, all alone and unprotected. But he survived. All my people find a way to survive trauma, but _he_ used it... _He_ used _him_.'

'Who used whom?'

'Phobos used Cedric.'

'But how? Cedric serves the Prince of his own accord. He was not coerced - '

'I know. But he used my brother to catalyse this war, this rivalry. The Queen really wanted to change things, but... tradition and politics - all these things are so nuanced that even as the Light of Meridian, she couldn't change the law of inheriting the throne; at least, not on a whim, not quickly. It would have raised so many questions, so much fear... but she should have _at least_ listened to Olindoyo. She warned her - she knew more about her son during a ten-day visit to the homeland than the Queen dared to see throughout the Prince's life. She wanted to see her son as balanced, as perfect... good enough, actually. But he's always been like this - this manipulative... _thing_ , and perhaps, he would have made a good ruler. He would have made a fabulous politician if the Traditionalists were still strict about the law, but this... this is just... _wrong_.'

All throughout her speech, my stomach tightened. What was I going to do? I couldn't turn her in. By the moons of Gaahn! If Prince Phobos finds out, but then, if he... and Olindoyo... Serpentine Shape-Shifters are not to be trifled with. Cedric fears the Prince's powers, as we all do, but the Shifters? No one alive today knows how deep their powers run except for them, but I've heard enough tales to know that even if Prince Phobos prevailed in a conflict with them, it would be a slim victory, and he would barely have much of a monarchy left over which to rule.

So, I listened. I asked and I listened.

'So, you don't want to go back to the old ways.'

'Correct.'

'But you don't approve of the Prince's rule?'

'Correct.'

'But I don't understand.'

She smiled softly. Her speech was tender, like a mother's caress.

'Vathek, just because I don't like to dwell somewhere hot does not mean I wish to dwell where it is cold. I'll take the heat over the cold, but it is not ideal. Likewise, I don't think that the Light of Meridian has always acted well and acted for good reasons, but I'd prefer to negotiate with her than with... well, I'm not in charge of anything _that_ important. At least, not decision-making on behalf of an entire race.'

'But you're still important,' I said. 'Your Majestic Grand Mistress Lady' - her laughter briefly distracted me.

 _'Great Majestic Lady.'_

'Your _Most Esteemed_ Lady is going to make decisions based on what _you_ say. So, it's quite important to me... to _all_ of us that you send back a report with a net positive. I know that no one is going to say _wonderful_ things about the Prince _all_ the time, but talk about the things that _matter_ , that are a _legitimate_ concern. Don't spread _lies_ and _vulgarities_ about him. It's just wrong to do that, even if you hate a person. You need to criticise people for actual, genuine things and not just name-call them.'

'Oh, Vathek! Of course! I agree with that whole-heartedly, and that's why I am so upset! I have seen the Prince be genuinely good - to my brother, at least. It was long before this war, after Cedric fled for home; Prince Phobos followed him because he was afraid someone might try to kill him.'

'But why?' I asked.

Cecelia frowned and murmured in her mother tongue for a moment.

'The consort accused Cedric of attacking him. Everyone thought he was trying to kill him, but it was _Phobos._ _Phobos_ was the one who attacked the consort and gave him that infamous limp. He was trying to protect Cedric, but no one listened to him. They all thought that my brother had _hypnotised_ him, which is just absurd!'

'Well, then! See! He must have had a reason to - '

'Going to war had _nothing_ to do with Cedric!' she growled, rearing on her coils. 'It was the catalyst but not the reason, and even if it were, it's a damned terrible reason! Cedric suffered horribly - I'd be cruel to suggest otherwise - and he deserved justice, but _this_? Is it right to besiege towns and villages that refuse to house your unruly men? Does a victim find justice when he deprives a man the right to a trial? Is there justice in slaughtering women and children just because their men didn't align with your side? What justice is that?'

All too late I realised that her coils had surrounded me. I had no way to jump out, and if she wanted to, she could have crushed me instantly like an insect.

'My Lady,' I stammered, 'the Prince hasn't done these things - '

'Oh, no?' she snarled. 'And what about the vines?'

'The what?'

'The vines! The great hill of vines that have held this castle for centuries. Haven't you noticed what he has made them do?'

'How should I know?'

Then she loomed close to my face, a hundred times more frightening than her brother, and hissed, 'Ever since I arrived here, I sensed something was wrong, _dead wrong_ , with the energy of this land. It felt like it was trickling away, but I didn't know where to. And then when I arrived in the castle, I felt it - felt it _thrumming_ through the stone and the walls and parapets, all throughout, and I _know_ ultimately _to_ _him_. Why do you think Kandrakar has sealed off our means of accessing other worlds?'

'I... I only know what the Prince has told me.'

'Phobos is a sorcerer, but unlike the Light, his power is limited. In order to maintain his physical and magickal strength, he needs to leech energy from other sources. And if he can't absorb the limitless energy from the Light, he'll get it elsewhere. This world, other worlds, stars, entire constellations. And he'll do what he can in order to seize energy, even go to war and commit atrocities, placing masks upon them to make them appear as noble causes.'

It simply couldn't be true. None of it can be true! I don't even know how she came to all her conclusions, but if she wants to live long, she needs to banish these ideas from her head!

We are working for the good of Meridian and hopefully all of Metamoor. If her people want to keep up, they had better damned well participate or just stay out of our way and stop making these insinuations and talking about nuance this and the Queen that and I know they've picked sides! They side with the Traditionalists, that's what! She should have never come here. She should have never, never, _never_ come here!

 _Evening. -_ Lady Cecelia has cut her visit short. Much to Cedric's relief and the pleasure of the Prince. But before she left, she pulled me aside as the servants prepared her clarence and the rest of the company's steeds.

'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I burdened your mind and heart, and that is an evil thing.'

I smiled as best as I could. 'I'm not only a stout fellow but a stout-hearted one. I haven't taken any offence to what you said.'

'Liar,' she chuckled but sadly. 'But honestly, Vathek, please, look at my brother - not now! No, no, not now. I mean, look at him when he acts. His demeanour. He's not the male that I remember. He has changed so much, and that scares me. Please... remove the armour that is your ideas if you feel yourself beginning to sink.'

'Don't worry about me, my Lady.'

'I already am.' Then she sighed and continued. 'Cedric devoted himself to Phobos. It was a beautiful thing, and there are hints of it still there. But... he's changed and changed for the worse. The beauty has faded, and I barely recognise him. You? You are beautifully devoted to this land, to improving it, but I beg you, not for my sake or the sake of the Gods or of Kandrakar - for _you_ , please, think carefully. How would _you_ go about improving the world?'

I didn't answer; and of course it was not meant to be answered there and then, anyway. Then she bade farewell to the Prince and Lord Cedric, entered her clarence with Corvus steering, and the entourage hurried away from the castle.

Then His Highness said, 'I do hope she has a _safe_ journey home.'

'It shall be safe,' said Cedric.

'Indeed! Still, one can't be _too_ careful - '

' _Her safe return is assured_ , my Prince.'

The scowl that His Highness displayed toward the Lord should have instantly coated him in ice; and while Cedric recoiled, his own stony stare remained.

By the Gods... This whole debacle couldn't have ended soon enough.

* * *

 ** _Assembler's Note_ :** I discovered this letter folded between entries. Dated _16th_ _Morgauseum, Year -._

 _To my Stout-Hearted Friend,_

 _If you have received this letter, then it means that I am still alive. I longed to write to you after the attack on my entourage that took my dear Corvus's life and left my servants injured. I know whom to blame. He is a fool to have tried to murder me._

 _For this crime, the Great One has forbidden all members of my people from contacting any member of the House of Escanor or the 'Brainwashed Traitor'. We already respected that alone she could authorize contact with the House of Escanor, but the fact that my brother is now exiled has broken my heart._

 _Therefore, I write to you, my friend; for though we come from different strains of thought, I do not think that a wall should be built between us. I have seen your heart, and brief though it was, the view gave me hope. While I think it unjust that my people give no aid to those who would fight for a better world, I give my love to you._

 _I cannot force you to think this way or that way. I can hope that you shall see for yourself what is right; for do not take my word because I, a noble, have said it, but because **the truth is what it is, regardless of the messenger**. _

_Be safe, my stout-hearted friend. Survive, so that wherever you are, I can seek you and be regaled by you in person and not from beyond the grave._

 _Forever_ _Your Ladyship_

* * *

 _13th Arthurian. Evening._ \- I've made contact with my blacksmith, A, again. His leader put me through another battery of rigourous tests. I know I have already committed treason without being a fully fledged member of these men. If I am caught, it is no matter to them. They'll see it as one less man who was once loyal to Phobos.

But I am not alone. I recognise a seamstress who had died - at least, was supposed to be dead. She no longer has her right eye, and the absence of half her left arm certainly has been disastrous for her business. She was caught fighting with these rebels and had supposedly died with a lot of them, slaughtered in battle some weeks ago. But here she is, alive, once loyal to the Prince but now turned against him.

I barely recognised her at first, but she knew me well and was furious to see me.

How could they know that I was not a spy? she demanded. And they listed all the ways I had aided rebels and jeopardised my position - my Gods! not even - _my very life_ , and still, she was wary.

'We were all wary of you, S.,' said the leader. 'And look at yourself now.'

Gods, be merciful! I'm exhausted! Living a double life... what a wreck to the body and mind!

* * *

 _16th Arthurian. 332 hours._ \- Many months have passed since that letter arrived by Ravemorph. I did not write back to her and have not received any more letters. Just the one. But I woke up just now and had the urge to read it again. My Gods, I'm a traitor. What have I done? But what was I doing before? This city... it isn't piecing itself together like it should. It's divided, contentious, so many rivalries, fighting. Soldiers putting down citizens, keeping order. Giving orders and getting orders and getting barked at by Cedric who's getting barked at by Phobos. We're miserable. I know it took months to put the city back together after the he seized the throne, but we're regressing. We shouldn't regress. What is all this? I need to stay. I can't leave. I can't leave the rebellion. I can't leave here. It's horrible. The thought that I might have to torture my own in order to keep my cover... but it's going to happen, he said. The rebels know, and they accept that they might die at my hand in order to keep my cover. And I just can't.

I'm frightened. I want out. I want out of all of this. No Prince no rebels. I want out. I want out. I want out. I want out.

I want to be with my Lady, to live like my Lady does with indifferent folk. Neither caring about the suffering nor the slaughter. It's a harsh life a shape-shifter but I want that. I don't want this. My Lady, what do I do? What do I do...

 _634 hours._ \- Dream: she was there. She was there and beautiful and golden and sheer gold robes, and there was a blinding ribbon like the sun - it was a snake coiled about it her but it seared me, it didn't sear her. I felt the heat and yet she had no scars no burnt flesh. And I fell in a river and I felt like I was drowning and she was floating above me and I could hear her voice in my head:

 _No one wants to die. The deer struggles for life, but the snake strangles it. It must eat. It must devour. But it does not hate the deer - it never has._

And I'm choking I'm sinking and she says: _You know what you are fighting for. You are not black and white. You shimmer many colours like the scales of a serpent. You will do good and you will do evil, and you are never wholly one or the other._

 _I want to be FREEEE!_ I scream. _I want to BE FREEEE!_

Fight fight FIGHT FOR IT I can hear it in my head. The shining, sun-bright serpent bites my right arm and pulls me out of the water and it burns - oh GODS does it burn! But I'm alive and she's there, her violet eyes and serpentine pupils wide and probing my _soul_

'You will be free one day,' she says. 'The Saints of Kandrakar have heard the cries of the suffering, and the Great Mother has showed me that we shall be liberated or we shall perish in the maw of the Shadow Serpent.'

'We _will!_ We will be free!' I shout back. She smiles and she leans close to me

And that's where it ends.

It ends with an almost-kiss and some hope.

Kandrakar has already shown that it is paying close attention to all that happens on Metamoor. I'll keep praying to the Oracle and the Saints and to Cecelia's Great Mother Goddess. I've got to do what it takes to keep the rebellion alive. I'm gonna do what it takes, and whatever happens, everyone, please forgive me.

* * *

 **Author Annotations:**

1) This fanfiction's style is based off Bram Stoker's _Dracula_.

2) In the cartoon, Cedric hints that Metamoor also uses the Gregorian calendar. In this story, Vathek uses the Escanor calendar in order to track dates. One year contains 12 months, and in each month are 25 days. Arthurian is the last month of the year and is associated with sombre times - days dedicated to contemplation rather than celebration, and the thinning of the veil between the mortal realm and the spirit realm. Arthurian is also believed to be the month in which dreams increase.

3) Serpentine Shape-shifters do not have queens or kings. Their hierarchy is determined first by birth and then by what actions and duties they commit. Status can be lowered either because of criminality or not completing certain training. Status is never lowered or lost because of mating with someone of lower rank.

4) Cecelia hints that Cedric has been abused the Consort. Furthermore, her entire race has survived protracted genocide initiated by Escanor, his knights, and the earthlings whom followed them to Metamoor. Queen Weira was the last monarch to reach out to Cedric's people and attempt to make amends. Her death left a devastating impact upon the snake people and their supreme authority, Olindoyo, whom was fond of the Queen beyond politics.

5) The Great Mother is the Supreme God in Cedric's pantheon. Her enemy and the enemy of all the gods is the Shadow Serpent, whom is similar to Apep from Ancient Egyptian mythology. Unlike the Father Serpents, who wrap their coils around each star and planet in order to keep it warm and alive, the Shadow Serpent wants to crush all light and life in his coils and return everything to the nothingness before Creation. His name is used, although rarely, as a metaphor in the same way a person calls another 'Satan' or 'the Antichrist'.

* * *

 **Dedication:** To all those affected by the spikes in violence and vitriol, particularly in the year 2016.


End file.
